


Shelter from the Storm

by confessorlove



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Character Death, Depression, F/M, Feels, Survivor Guilt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-03
Updated: 2014-01-01
Packaged: 2018-01-03 08:12:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1068112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/confessorlove/pseuds/confessorlove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peeta Mellark's infection was worse than Katniss originally assumed.  When his canon sounded in the arena she was left with only one choice: die and let Peeta's death have been for nothing or live to show Panem what the real cost of the Hunger Games is.  She has to show them that victory is hollow.  It is nothing to be proud of.  It changed her, but the question is how much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

She had tried everything she knew, but in the end she wasn’t Prim or her mother. She didn’t know how to stop an infection from spreading like they did. Even with the little silver parachute from Haymitch, it had still been too late. The star crossed lovers from District Twelve were broken apart at the sound of a canon. Katniss may not have loved Peeta the way he hoped she would, but he had become her friend during their time in the Capitol. He was the only one she could count on there and now, when he was counting on her; she failed. The Capitol claimed his life just as they had claimed so many in this pointless and brutal game. It wasn’t fair and not for the first time since being reaped, Katniss wished she could have run with Gale the morning before the reaping. Of course, if she had, Prim would have been here now. Prim would have died for the Capitol’s amusement. The thought made her sick.

Katniss was forced to drag Peeta’s body from the confines of the cave they had found so the hovercraft could collect him. It wasn’t fair. Peeta had never done anything to hurt anyone and yet he still suffered a fate she couldn’t prevent. When she watched his body be lifted from the arena, determination set in. She would make sure that she went home. She would make sure that Peeta’s death wasn’t for nothing. It was the least she could do for the boy with the bread who saved her when she was starving.

By keeping to the trees like Rue had, Katniss watched and waited for her opening. By the time only for tributes remained, Cato and Clove hunted Thresh down and killed him. She knew the pair of Careers wanted to make it to the end together. She knew they would be coming for her. Katniss bided her time and used her tracking skills to follow them through the woods. In her mind she could hear Gale’s voice reminding her that it was just hunting. That’s all it was. In that moment she realized he was right. When she closed her eyes she was back in the woods outside Twelve with him tracking a buck. Everything seemed simpler when she thought like that.

From her perch she looked out at everything and heard the pair of Careers coming towards her. “We’ll find her soon,” Katniss heard Cato say as they tromped through the underbrush. It would seem that stealth was one thing not taught at the Academy in Two.

“We better,” Clove replied.

Balancing on a branch above them, Katniss pulled an arrow from her quiver and knocked it. It’s just like hunting; she mentally reminded herself as she drew the bowstring taught and took aim at Clove. From her perch in the trees Katniss knew the knife thrower was far more likely to hit her at this distance than Cato could with his brute force and strength. She took aim and breathed deeply once, the same way she always had before shooting a dear or a rabbit in the woods, before she let the arrow fly.

The arrow hit Clove in the heart and the canon sounded before Cato even realized what was happening. Katniss saw the look of shock on his face when he noticed the arrow jutting out of Clove’s corpse. “Come out and fight, Twelve!” She watched as he spun and scanned the area looking for her. It seemed as though he couldn’t tell which way the arrow had come from.

In the back of her mind she realized how unfair this was, but if she didn’t kill Cato than he would kill her. That was what it boiled down to in the end. She knocked another arrow and drew back the bowstring. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Katniss’s tone was light but her words caused Cato to turn and focus on the area of the trees she had hidden in. “This is for Peeta.” Tension released and the arrow flew, embedding swiftly in Cato’s heart. He dropped and the canon sounded as she lowered herself down from the tree.

Overhead the voice of Caesar Flickerman filled the arena. “The Victor of the 74th Hunger Games, from District Twelve, Katniss Everdeen.”

Perhaps she should have felt pride that she won or happiness that she hadn’t broken her promise to Prim, but she felt none of that. All Katniss felt was grief and guilt. There was blood on her hands from those she had killed as well as Peeta’s blood because she couldn’t save him. The air spun around her as the hovercraft lowered to remove her and Cato’s body from the arena as she fell to her knees and cried. This wasn’t a joyous occasion. These games had turned her into something she never thought she could be: a killer. How could people celebrate the victors when most were nothing but cold blooded killers? She hadn’t even looked into Clove’s eyes when she shot that arrow. The girl might have been a career but didn’t she deserve a shred of human decency?

Eventually Katniss composed herself enough to grip the lowered ladder and be lifted from the arena. Her body may have left it behind but she knew in her gut that her mind would stay there for a long time. Suddenly she understood why Haymitch drank. She understood why the older victor was as obnoxious and cranky as he was. He had seen this bloodshed. He had killed people too. He had seen what the games could turn people into and survived. Katniss didn’t know if she could be that strong, but she had to. People needed her to be strong. Her mother, Prim, and Gale all needed her.

Gale.

Her eyes filled with tears once again merely knowing she would see him again. She could still hear him telling her to remember as the peacekeepers ripped him from her arms. The Games were over and she won. Maybe now she could find out what he wanted her to remember. She was a victor now. There would be enough money to take care of both of their families. No one would ever have to starve again. They wouldn’t have to fear for her life if Posy came down with a fever. Things could be better for all of them because of what she had done to survive. Things could be better for them because of Peeta’s sacrifice.

Her hand rose to brush away the tears as she struggled to reign in her emotions. It was difficult and briefly she wondered if it would be better to let the Capitol see that not all the victors are proud of their accomplishments. Some merely did what they had to in order to survive. That was what she would show the people when they paraded their victor around. They wouldn’t see a proud and happy girl without a care in the world. They would see a broken reminder of everything they had done and all the people they had slaughtered for their own amusement. If she could make them see and understand then that would truly be her victory. Living would merely be the conciliation prize.

Sometime during her journey out of the arena, Katniss lost consciousness. When she woke she was laying on a table with her injuries healing. Tentatively she lifted her hand and saw that the scars that had once marred it from thorns in the woods and clumsiness throughout her life had vanished. It was unnatural just like everything else in the Capitol. She supposed they would expect her to be grateful, but she wasn’t. How could she be grateful for something so miniscule while people died? Children died because of these people. Gratitude was not something the Capitol deserved.

Katniss lost track of how long she laid there before the door slid open and Haymitch stepped into the room. “You did good, kid.” When he leaned against the door Katniss couldn’t help but notice that he seemed to be sober. She supposed Effie probably had something to do with that. “How’re you feeling?”

She sat up and sighed as he crossed the room to stand beside her. “I’m okay.” It was a lie. Physically she felt fine but whenever her eyes closed she was back in the arena facing death. She could still feel Peeta’s blood on her hands and no matter what it would never go away. The arena had changed her and life would never be the same. “I just want to go home.”

“I know,” Haymitch replied as he placed a comforting hand on Katniss’s shoulder. It caused her brow to rise slightly but she said nothing about the gesture. Haymitch was the only one who knew what it was like to be in the arena. He was the only one who understood what it did to you when you took someone’s life. The games were over now. She just wanted things back to the way they used to be. “We’ll head back to Twelve after your post-game interview and Snow crowns you as the Victor. You’ll be back with your mom and that sister of yours before you know it.”

She nodded slightly and swallowed hard. The idea of stepping back out in front of the people of Panem seemed terrifying and yet she knew that if she wanted them to see what the games had cost her, she needed to. There was no other choice she could make. “When?”

“The crowning is tonight. Cinna and your prep team are waiting to get you ready for it. We’ll leave for home in the morning.”

“Okay.” Katniss bit her lower lip as she thought about what things would be like when she got home. Would her family see her as different now that she had killed people? Would Gale? How would she look into the eyes of Mr. Mellark after she failed to save his son? All of those questions weighed heavily on her mind and she couldn’t shake them away, regardless of how hard she tried. If she saw herself as different now, changed by the games, wouldn’t everyone else? Could they still look at her and see the girl who hunted illegally to save her family and traded at the hob with everyone else or would they see nothing more than the Girl on Fire?

She could see it in his eyes that Haymitch still saw her for who she was. Katniss just hoped he wouldn’t be the only one.


	2. Chapter 2

Her last day in the Capitol was a blur she could barely remember.  She could recall Cinna dressing her in a pale yellow gown and sending her out to be crowned.  She could remember crying when Caesar asked about Peeta and Rue.  She could remember looking into President Snow’s eyes and feeling nothing but hatred for the man who could easily have stopped this pointless and brutal bloodshed.  Many people might have felt pride when that crown was placed on their head but Katniss only felt emptiness.  It was not a victory.  This wasn’t something to be celebrated and yet they were broadcasting it to everyone in all of Panem.  It was required viewing.  She didn’t want to be part of it.  She didn’t want to be a cog in the Capitol’s machine, yet that was exactly what she had become.  By playing their game by their rules the status quo remained unchanged.  The people were entertained by the murder of children and she had become their victor despite the fact that she felt like nothing more than a murderer.

Both Effie and Haymitch gave her the space she so desperately craved on the train back to District Twelve.  She was grateful for that.  They seemed to realize that things were different now, that she had become a different person.  The games had changed her.  Mindlessly she sat in a daze watching as the districts rushed past the windows in a blur of color.  Emptying her mind of thoughts seemed like the only way to survive.  Perhaps it was heartless but she couldn’t bring herself to think about Peeta or Rue.  She couldn’t even think about Cato or Clove without feeling sadness and guilt over their deaths.  It was heartless murder at the hands of the Capitol.  Deep down she knew that, but she had still been their pawn.  The blood was still on her hands.  No matter how many times she washed them, Katniss knew she would never get them clean.

It was easy to lose track of the time she spent on the train.  Her mind was blank save the moments when something would remind her of someone.  Peeta was prevalent in her thoughts frequently, as was Rue.  They were both too good to die and she hadn’t been able to save them.  In her mind Katniss could almost hear Peeta reminding her that there were people waiting for her back home.  She had family that loved her.  Prim would be overjoyed that she lived to come back to her.  Katniss knew all that and yet she still didn’t feel comfortable celebrating a victory.  She wanted to see her mother and her sister, but there was someone else she wanted to see just as badly.  When she could push away the thoughts of the arena and death, Gale’s face would swim in her mind’s eye.  Katniss longed to run into his arms and never let go.  Before the games Katniss didn’t like to be touched, but now she couldn’t imagine anything that would make her feel safer in this nightmare world than Gale’s arms around her as she breathed in his scent.  He had always been her rock, her security, and now that she weathered the storm without him, Katniss knew he would keep her afloat through the aftermath.

“Katniss!”  Effie’s peppy tone pulled Katniss from her thoughts and she shot the brightly dressed escort a withering look.  “We’ve almost reached Twelve.  You should get ready for your homecoming.”

She gestured to her simple clothing and shrugged.  “I am ready, Effie.  I’m going home and I’m going to do it as myself.”

Effie waved a hand in an over exaggerated flourish.  “You are a victor now, darling.  You aren’t just yourself.  You are someone else entirely.”

The scoff fell from Katniss’s lips before she could even attempt to stop it.  “You’ve got that right at least.”  Effie couldn’t possibly begin to imagine how much she had changed since that fateful reaping day when Effie’s pink talons plucked Prim’s name from the reaping ball.  No one could really understand what it was like to completely lose yourself and become a pawn of the Capitol.  No one except Haymitch, that is. 

“It’s a happy day,” Effie cooed.  “At least try to look like you are excited.”

Without another word Effie turned on her heels and left Katniss to her thoughts once more.  The click click of Effie’s heels on the floor eventually trailed off but her mind was still stuck on what her escort had said.  It might have been a happy day but there was an aura of sadness that lingered.  Peeta’s body would be returned to his family just as she returned to hers.  How could she be happy about that?  True, she was happy she would see her family and Gale’s again, but the cost had been so great.

By the time the train pulled into the station, Katniss could forget for a moment what she had been forced to do in order to survive.  She could simply focus on the joy she felt because she was home with the people she loved.  Effie’s hand on her back urged her forward as the doors opened and she stepped out onto the platform and into the blinding sunlight.  She could hear the applause and cheering that seemed to echo all around her.  Haymitch had been District Twelve’s last victor and she wondered if these people were happy because she survived or simply because Twelve finally won.  It was a bitter thought but she struggled to push it away.

Her eyes scanned the crowd before they landed on Prim.  She was hoisted up higher than the rest and for a moment it confused her until she realized her little duck was sitting on Gale’s shoulders.  Her eyes met his in that moment and she felt as though her heart could stop.  Nothing about what she did in the games had changed her in his eyes.  She could see that written all over his face.  Had she not been looking at him she would have missed the tiny nod of approval he gave her before he lowered Prim from his shoulders. 

Katniss didn’t have to pretend to be happy when Prim, her mother, Gale, and his family all rushed to the front of the crowd.  Prim’s frail little arms wrapped around her and she clung to her sister as though her life depended on it.  Prim was the thing that kept her the most grounded during the games.  She was the one who Katniss had promised.  She was the one that couldn’t be disappointed.  Even though she knew that Gale would take care of her family, she still fought and won for Prim.

“I knew you could do it,” Prim cried as Katniss held her close and ran her fingers down her sister’s braid. 

In spite of herself, Katniss felt a small smile of pride form on her lips.  “I promised you I’d try to win.  I couldn’t let you down, could I?”  Prim shook her head and held tighter to Katniss in a way that made her wonder how such a small girl could cling so tightly.

When she felt a hand on her shoulder Katniss glanced up to meet her mother’s eyes.  The broken woman she had left seemed stronger now, something she was eternally grateful for.  She’d been so terrified that her mother would retreat back into herself once more while she was gone.  Prim needed her and it seemed that she had kept strong despite the circumstances.  Katniss had always struggled with reading her mother’s expression, but she could clearly see the joy written in it now.  She had not lost her child.  Suddenly Katniss felt selfish for all the things she had said to her mother in the past.  It was wrong of her but the situation had been desperate.  Now more than ever, Katniss understood that desperation. 

Instinct fueled her actions as she reached out with one arm and pulled her mother close.  She could feel tears prickling her eyes and she squeezed them shut to stem the flow.  This was a happy moment.  Why would she want to cry?  For the longest time they simply stood there hugging as a family reunited.  In some small way Katniss felt guilty for her joy but she could not waste this moment.  If there was one thing the games taught her it was to never take anything for granted.  When her family finally extracted themselves from her arms, Katniss looked up and swallowed when her eyes met Gale’s.

“Hey Catnip.”

His voice was what finally cracked her walls and caused the tears that had been welling in her eyes to spill over.  It was the first time she truly cried since the end of the games and she couldn’t understand why now.  Her family was still whole.  There was no sadness that could pull them apart again.  Katniss was happy, truly.  It just didn’t show on her face.

“Gale,” she murmured in response as her voice cracked.  Her eyes met his and she felt safe.  There was no thought.  Everything was instinct and feeling as she quickly closed the distance between them and found herself in his arms.  Against his chest she buried her face, to hide her tears from onlookers.  Strong arms wrapped around her and held her close against his chest in a way that made her never want to leave his embrace.  He smelled like the woods.   Vaguely she wondered if he had already been hunting that morning since he smelled like their woods, their place.  The fabric of his shirt felt rough against her fingers and her cheek as she nuzzled closer to him.  In his arms she felt safe.  With him it was the only time she could be herself.  There was no façade she was forced to portray.  There was no strength she had to possess for the sake of her family.  She wasn’t the victor or the tribute, the sister or the daughter.  She was only Katniss in Gale’s eyes.

His lips pressed against the top of her head and she felt her lips twist into a smile when he spoke.  “I knew you could do it.”

Katniss nodded against his chest as she held tightly to him, her fingers twisted in the fabric of his shirt.  “Seems like everyone thought I could except me.”

Gale pulled back then and used two fingers to tilt her chin up to look into her eyes.  Suddenly she was very aware of the tears she let fall and the people standing around them.  She wondered what people were thinking even though she knew in her heart that it didn’t matter.  His piercing blue eyes locked on hers and held her captive, ensnaring her as easily as his traps would a rabbit in the woods.  “No,” he murmured softly as he continued to gaze down into her eyes.  “You knew you could too.  You just didn’t realize it.  You’ve always been a fighter for as long as I’ve known you.”

“Maybe you’re right,” she said as she stepped out of his arms.  Instantly she regretted the movement and longed to find herself wrapped in them once again.  His warmth had seeped into her and she wondered if she could ever truly be warm again without him.

“Either way,” he continued a moment later, “I missed you, Catnip.”

There was softness to his expression that Katniss had never seen before.  It warmed her heart and sent shivers down her spine all at once.  When she looked in his eyes there was mystery but it kept her close.  More than anything the look in his blue eyes reminded her that she was finally home and nothing could take her away again.


	3. Chapter 3

In the days since she returned to Twelve, Katniss felt as though she was living someone else’s life.  People looked at her differently when she walked through the streets.  Her home in the Seam had been forgotten and exchanged for a big house in the Victor’s Village.  Prim and her mother seemed comfortable there, but Katniss hated it.  She hated that everything in her life had to change because of the Capitol.  When she looked around her new house, all she saw was simplified Capitol finery.  There was a part of her deep down inside that longed to burn it all to ash.  Maybe then the Capitol would understand who she became when they christened her the Girl on Fire.  

She couldn’t do it.  She couldn’t take a promising future and a warm home away from her family.  Instead she glared with distain every morning when she woke up in the large, plush bed, warm without a measly threadbare blanket covering her.  It was yet another reminder of her drastically changing life.  It was a story of rags to riches, but Katniss missed her rags.

Haymitch had accompanied her to Peeta’s funeral and the stench of alcohol on his breath was as strong as ever.  It seemed as though returning to Twelve with the corpse of another tribute he couldn’t save was too much for him to bear.  Katniss couldn’t blame him.  When she watched them bury Peeta she couldn’t help but feel guilt over his death.  She tried to save him but it had been too late.  She couldn’t help him even though she desperately wanted to.  That was something that would weigh on her conscience for the rest of her life.  She knew that.  It wasn’t a secret.

Her gaze fell on Mr. Mellark and she swallowed back the sudden emotion she felt.  It wasn’t fair.  She was supposed to die in that arena just like Peeta had.  Somehow she survived and Katniss still wasn’t completely sure how she managed it.  How was she supposed to sell the baker squirrels now when she couldn’t bring his son home to him?  How was she supposed to look in his eyes without feeling a traitor for helplessly watching Peeta die?  Those questions spun in her mind and made her feel sick no matter what she did.  She didn’t want to think about the Games.  She didn’t want to think about what she had done there or the people who she’d lost, yet those thoughts were the only ones coherently formed in her mind.

It had been her obligation to say some kind words as he was laid to rest, but Katniss hadn’t been able to make her voice work.  Peeta had been the one good with woods, not her.  She couldn’t do it.  She couldn’t say what she was feeling or how she blamed herself.  Instead she listened as Haymitch spoke and gripped her mentor’s hand tightly.  He might not have been the best person to depend on, but he was the only one who also blamed themselves for what happened to Peeta.  She knew his family would expect something more than Haymitch’s condolences but she couldn’t muster a single word.  It all felt empty and hollow.  She could face the careers in the arena but she couldn’t face Peeta’s family.  That in itself was a tragedy of it’s own.

Afterwards she couldn’t face her family in that perfect house.  It made her feel sick just thinking about it.  When she had a chance she slipped away from Haymitch, dropped her gaze, and walked through the streets back towards the Seam.  Even though everyone looked at her differently now, the Seam was still home.   She had grown up there.  Time in the arena couldn’t change that.  As she walked her gaze fell on familiar places, the Hob, the community home, and finally Gale’s front door.  How many times had she stood there waiting for him?  From inside she could hear Posy’s laugh and that pulled Katniss from her thoughts.  She dropped her gaze once more, shoved her hands into the pockets of her father’s hunting jacket, and continued on her way.

Katniss didn’t stop until she reached her home.  Not the house the Capitol had given her because she had won their games; the real home she had grown up in.  Tentatively she pushed open the door and glanced around.  Everything was still the same.  Why wouldn’t it be?  Prim and her mother had still lived there only a few days ago.  It technically was still their residence.  Katniss ran her newly smoothed fingertips across the rough wood of the table top as she remembered how things were so long ago.  She could remember Prim sitting on a stool at the table to crush the herbs her mother needed.  She could remember laughing with her while she tried to cook.  She could remember sitting at that table waiting for her father to come home from the mines before the Capitol took him away too.

There were so many memories in this house.  The house in the Victor’s Village had none of that.  It felt so sterile.  It felt too perfect.  She felt as though her mother would scold her for getting dirt on the floor.  When they lived here that was just part of life.  Now, even the simplest things were so very different.  Katniss hated that.  She hated how much things had changed.  Dwelling on the past would do no good, yet Katniss couldn’t pull her mind into the present.

She found the threadbare blanket that she’d loved ever since she was a child and ran her fingertips along the aged material.  It was comforting.  It was a connection to a life that was so different now.  In so many ways the girl who had left for the Capitol was not the same one who returned.  Softly she sighed as she pulled her knees up to her chest.  Things were not supposed to be like this.  Perhaps she should be grateful for surviving or grateful for all the Capitol would provide now that she had won, but she wasn’t.  All she felt was bitterness.

Katniss didn’t realize she was crying until a teardrop landed on her hand.  She angrily brushed the tears away as she gazed blankly at the wall.  There were so many memories here.  There were good things and bad things, but they were all important.  It was real.  Everything about her life now seemed so foreign.  She curled her fingers into the threadbare blanket and rested her head on her knees.  Outside the house she could hear the laughter of children and the whistle from the mines signaling the end of the day.  Life went on for District Twelve as though nothing had happened.  For them, nothing had changed.  She was the only one whose life seemed to be fundamentally altered.

“Catnip?”

Katniss looked up suddenly and spun around to find Gale entering the house.  Her guard must have truly been lowered for her not to have noticed him before now.  “Hi,” she replied softly as she gazed up at him.  From her place on the floor Gale looked like a giant above her, but she knew he was anything but.

He knelt down beside her and placed his hand on her shoulder.  She didn’t shy away from it and in fact, she was grateful for his support.  Katniss had underestimated his friendship before the Games and now she didn’t want to make the same mistake.  If there was anything that the Games taught her, it was that people could be gone from your life in a flash regardless of what you did to try and stop them.  It happened to Peeta.  She wouldn’t let it happen to Gale too.  “I looked for you at the Victor’s Village,” he commented after a moment of silence.  Katniss could almost see the gears in his mind turning to figure out what had upset her.  In some ways she was surprised he hadn’t pulled her into a hug yet.  “I figured checking here would be the next best bet.”

She nodded slightly and glanced up at him.  “It was Peeta’s funeral.”  Katniss hoped that would be a simple enough explanation for everything that she was feeling.  Gale had always been good at figuring out what was happening in her mind even before she did.  That connection was always there and had always been there since their first encounter in the woods all those years ago.  It was part of who they were as people, as a team, and as two parts of one being.  Thoughts were shared and words were barely needed.  Maybe it was instinct but Gale just knew her and in the same way she just knew him.

Her gaze flicked up to find his and he nodded.  “I know,” he responded.  There was a look in his eyes that she had only seen a handful of times.  It almost seemed to her that he felt guilty that he hadn’t been there.  Gale didn’t owe Peeta anything so there was no reason for him to feel that way.  When he spoke again it caught Katniss off guard.  “How are you holding up?”

The question was so simple and yet Katniss didn’t know how to respond.  This was Gale.  This was the man she could truly be herself with and yet she didn’t know how to tell him such a simple thing.  The truth was she was breaking more and more every day.  Haymitch was right.  There were no winners in these games.  There were only survives.  She supposed that was all she had to do now.  She survived the arena.  Surviving life in Twelve shouldn’t be hard.  “I’m…okay,” she finally murmured even though she knew Gale could see right through her.  He was the only one that could.

Gale nodded but the look in his eyes displayed a twinge of hurt that made her suddenly regret not telling him everything.  “I’m not going to pretend to know what you’re going through, Katniss.  I know I don’t understand it, but you’ve gotta remember I’m here for you.”  His callused hand shifted to cup her cheek as he tilted her face to look her in the eyes.  “I get that you aren’t ready to talk yet.  It’s all still fresh but you can’t keep it locked up forever.  Eventually you will have to face what happened, face what you survived.”  He took a deep breath then and met her gaze with sincerity that shook Katniss to her very core.  “I’m not going anywhere, Catnip.  You’ve always got me.”

Instinctively she shifted closer towards him and rested her head on his shoulder.  Gale was her rock.  He was the thing that kept her sane when she was struggling to keep her mother and Prim alive.  Why should now be any different?  He may not have been in the arena but he was still her strength in so many ways.  Gale’s arm curled around her shoulders and she felt truly safe for the first time since she volunteered in Prim’s place.  The whole world could burn around them and Gale would keep her safe.  She knew that just as surely as she knew that she was breathing.  When she closed her eyes there was a moment where the world ceased to exist.  All she could smell was Gale, the scent of leather and the freshness of the woods which clung to him.  There was no sound but their breathing.  It was peaceful.

Unfortunately, the moment her eyes opened once more the reality rushed back over her like a tidal wave.  It weighed her down but she didn’t know how to free herself from the chains that bound her.  It seemed impossible even though she knew deep down that it wasn’t.

Katniss didn’t even know how long they sat there with her head on Gale’s shoulder, his arm around her, and his cheek pressed against the top of her head.  It was nice.  She didn’t want to escape it but finally she found her voice as another tear slipped from her eye and rolled down her cheek.  “Thank you,” she whispered even though she knew Gale needed no thanks.  He would have been there for her no matter what.  That was simply the kind of person he was.  He had a good heart and put other people first.  She was lucky he caught her poking around his snare line all those years ago.  Imagining where she would be had that encounter not happened was unfathomable. 

“You don’t need to thank me,” Gale said.

Her head shifted against his shoulder as she shook her head in silent protest.  “Just…for being here,” she murmured softly.  Her voice was barely more than a whisper and she didn’t know if it was because she didn’t want to speak, she couldn’t speak, or if it just seemed right because of the general sadness that had engulfed her since Peeta’s funeral.  “I promise I’ll tell you someday I just…not now.”  A soft sigh spilled from her lips as she shook her head more adamantly.  “I can’t now.”

Gale lifted his head from atop hers and pressed a kiss to her hair.  “I know,” he murmured before he resumed his previous position.  “Once you’re ready I’m here to listen but not a moment before then.”

All she could do was nod before another silent tear rolled down her cheek.  


End file.
